Beauty. It is one of those things we all have opinions on, right? But what truly defines beauty? What makes someone “beautiful”? Is it the symmetry of a face, the way someone carries themselves, or perhaps something deeper – like the kindness in their heart?
As an international master’s alumna of XJTLU, being around friends from all over the world has shown me just how much culture shapes what we see as beautiful. According to International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, beauty is a blend of cultural influences that each of us interprets in our own way. This means that, consciously or not, we all have “criteria” we look for: body shape, skin tone, facial features, or even personality traits. For instance, in Indonesia, where I came from, beauty ideals tend to emphasise a slender body and fair skin. I noticed similar standards in China, where the beauty ideal often involves pale skin and delicate features. This preference may have a historical background. According to Angela Kang Yi Mak, a researcher from the United States, there is a well-known Chinese proverb that goes, “Yi Bai Zhe San Chou”, which means “Fair skin can hide facial flaws.” This belief is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture, where lighter skin has historically been associated with wealth and higher social status.
But in the West, beauty standards tend to favour a more athletic or curvaceous body type and a more diverse range of skin tones. These differences highlight how subjective beauty really is – it’s fascinating to see how beauty, though universal, is defined so differently depending on where you are, shaped by a culture’s history and values. It also made me wonder how beauty standards evolve over time and why they are sometimes hard to challenge, even when they may not align with individual or societal needs.
The pressure of toxic beauty standards
Living abroad and meeting people from diverse backgrounds has changed the way I see beauty – and helped me realise how deeply these standards run, sometimes to the point of becoming overwhelming or even harmful. It is no secret that beauty standards can turn toxic, especially when they are too rigid. It is also surprising how much of beauty is based on appearance alone. The rise of filters and photo-editing applications has further distorted what we deem “real” beauty, often making it seem that perfection is attainable, if only we try hard enough. With social media platforms, such as Instagram and TikTok, and advertising, constantly feeding us filtered, refined images, it is easy to feel like you’re not measuring up. These toxic standards can end up dictating what is acceptable or attractive in ways that harm our self-image and mental health.
From my experience, I started to feel the pressure of society beauty standards more acutely when I moved to China. Back home, I never felt much pressure to meet a specific beauty ideal, largely because I did not place much importance on other people’s appearances, or maybe because I simply was not as aware of it at the time. I felt more accepted for who I was, rather than how I looked. But here, I personally think that beauty standards are more visible and widely reinforced. For examples, I have observed conversations where friends and colleagues casually compare features, subtly shaping perceptions of what is considered attractive.
At times, I have felt judged for not fitting a certain look, and I would be lying if I said it did not affect how I perceived beauty. This pressure to “fit in” led me to start questioning whether some standards really resonated with me or not.
I am aware that each person has their own sense of what’s attractive, often shaped by their cultural and personal experiences. However, in the real world, the definition of beauty tends to favour certain specific perceptions of what is considered beautiful. Still, the more I reflected, the more I understood that I did not want to be controlled by ideals that did not even represent me. Instead, I decided to use that pressure as a way to broaden my own beauty perspective and see it as a tool to enhance my understanding of beauty. For example, I began experimenting with new styles of makeup and clothing in ways that felt authentic for me. Rather than simply copying what was popular like following the latest beauty trends or wearing outfits that didn’t truly reflect my personality, I explored how I could incorporate the parts I liked into my own style. In other words, I took inspiration from people I admired, blending different ideas of beauty to find my own unique approach. It made me realise that there is no single standard that defines beauty for everyone.
Beauty beyond appearance
One of the biggest lessons I have learned along the way is that beauty is not only what is seen by the eyes but what is felt by the heart. This is something I have come to appreciate more as I live abroad. How we treat ourselves and others, the care we show to people who matter to us – that is also a form of beauty. It may not be the kind celebrated in ads or social media, but it holds immense power when genuinely expressed. For me, this is the highest form of beauty: a beauty that transcends appearance, rooted in kindness, authenticity, and empathy.
Beauty is personal, and there’s no single way to be beautiful. Our perspectives on beauty are as varied as the cultures and histories that shape them. What I have learned is that we should embrace the differences in how we define beauty. Learning to respect and appreciate these different views can lead to a world where everyone feels seen, valued, and free to be themselves. When we stop comparing ourselves to the images we see around us, we open the door to a more inclusive and supportive world, one where beauty is celebrated in all its forms.
Beauty. It is one of those things we all have opinions on, right? But what truly defines beauty? What makes someone “beautiful”? Is it the symmetry of a face, the way someone carries themselves, or perhaps something deeper – like the kindness in their heart?
As an international master’s alumna of XJTLU, being around friends from all over the world has shown me just how much culture shapes what we see as beautiful. According to International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, beauty is a blend of cultural influences that each of us interprets in our own way. This means that, consciously or not, we all have “criteria” we look for: body shape, skin tone, facial features, or even personality traits. For instance, in Indonesia, where I came from, beauty ideals tend to emphasise a slender body and fair skin. I noticed similar standards in China, where the beauty ideal often involves pale skin and delicate features. This preference may have a historical background. According to Angela Kang Yi Mak, a researcher from the United States, there is a well-known Chinese proverb that goes, “Yi Bai Zhe San Chou”, which means “Fair skin can hide facial flaws.” This belief is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture, where lighter skin has historically been associated with wealth and higher social status.
But in the West, beauty standards tend to favour a more athletic or curvaceous body type and a more diverse range of skin tones. These differences highlight how subjective beauty really is – it’s fascinating to see how beauty, though universal, is defined so differently depending on where you are, shaped by a culture’s history and values. It also made me wonder how beauty standards evolve over time and why they are sometimes hard to challenge, even when they may not align with individual or societal needs.
The pressure of toxic beauty standards
Living abroad and meeting people from diverse backgrounds has changed the way I see beauty – and helped me realise how deeply these standards run, sometimes to the point of becoming overwhelming or even harmful. It is no secret that beauty standards can turn toxic, especially when they are too rigid. It is also surprising how much of beauty is based on appearance alone. The rise of filters and photo-editing applications has further distorted what we deem “real” beauty, often making it seem that perfection is attainable, if only we try hard enough. With social media platforms, such as Instagram and TikTok, and advertising, constantly feeding us filtered, refined images, it is easy to feel like you’re not measuring up. These toxic standards can end up dictating what is acceptable or attractive in ways that harm our self-image and mental health.
From my experience, I started to feel the pressure of society beauty standards more acutely when I moved to China. Back home, I never felt much pressure to meet a specific beauty ideal, largely because I did not place much importance on other people’s appearances, or maybe because I simply was not as aware of it at the time. I felt more accepted for who I was, rather than how I looked. But here, I personally think that beauty standards are more visible and widely reinforced. For examples, I have observed conversations where friends and colleagues casually compare features, subtly shaping perceptions of what is considered attractive.
At times, I have felt judged for not fitting a certain look, and I would be lying if I said it did not affect how I perceived beauty. This pressure to “fit in” led me to start questioning whether some standards really resonated with me or not.
I am aware that each person has their own sense of what’s attractive, often shaped by their cultural and personal experiences. However, in the real world, the definition of beauty tends to favour certain specific perceptions of what is considered beautiful. Still, the more I reflected, the more I understood that I did not want to be controlled by ideals that did not even represent me. Instead, I decided to use that pressure as a way to broaden my own beauty perspective and see it as a tool to enhance my understanding of beauty. For example, I began experimenting with new styles of makeup and clothing in ways that felt authentic for me. Rather than simply copying what was popular like following the latest beauty trends or wearing outfits that didn’t truly reflect my personality, I explored how I could incorporate the parts I liked into my own style. In other words, I took inspiration from people I admired, blending different ideas of beauty to find my own unique approach. It made me realise that there is no single standard that defines beauty for everyone.
Beauty beyond appearance
One of the biggest lessons I have learned along the way is that beauty is not only what is seen by the eyes but what is felt by the heart. This is something I have come to appreciate more as I live abroad. How we treat ourselves and others, the care we show to people who matter to us – that is also a form of beauty. It may not be the kind celebrated in ads or social media, but it holds immense power when genuinely expressed. For me, this is the highest form of beauty: a beauty that transcends appearance, rooted in kindness, authenticity, and empathy.
Beauty is personal, and there’s no single way to be beautiful. Our perspectives on beauty are as varied as the cultures and histories that shape them. What I have learned is that we should embrace the differences in how we define beauty. Learning to respect and appreciate these different views can lead to a world where everyone feels seen, valued, and free to be themselves. When we stop comparing ourselves to the images we see around us, we open the door to a more inclusive and supportive world, one where beauty is celebrated in all its forms.
By Venessa
XJTLU alumna, Class of 2025